\u201cSister Ann, aren\u2019t you putting on a little weight?\u201d
\ninquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging stomach.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy, no Father,\u201d answered the nun demurely, \u201cIt\u2019s just a little gas.\u201d<\/p>\n
A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit barely fit across her belly.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, just a bit of gas,\u201d said sister Ann, blushing a bit.<\/p>\n
On his next visit Father Dan was walking down the corridor when he passed Sister Ann wheeling a baby carriage. Looking in, the priest observed, \u201cCute little Fart!\u201d<\/p>\n
A priest decides one mid weekday to visit one of his elderly parishioners, Mrs. Smith.
\nHe rings the door bell and Mrs. Smith appears.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood Day Mrs. Smith. I just thought I would drop by and see how your are doing.\u201d<\/p>\n
The woman says, \u201cOh just fine Father, come on in and we`ll have some tea.\u201d<\/p>\n
While sitting a the coffee table, the priest notices a bowl of almonds on the table. \u201cMind if I have one?\u201d, the priest says.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot at all, have as many as you like\u201d.<\/p>\n
After a few hours the priest looks at his watch and alarmed at how long he has been visting says to Mrs Smith, \u201cOh my goodness, look at the time. I must be going. Oh dear, I`ve eaten all your almonds. I`ll have to replace them next time I visit.\u201d<\/p>\n
To which Mrs Smith replied, \u201cOh don`t bother, Father. Ever since I lost all my teeth, it`s all I can do just to lick the chocolate off them.\u201d<\/p>\n
A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one very hot day.
\nThey were sweating profusely by the time they came upon a small lake with a sandy beach. Since it was a secluded spot, they left all their clothes on a big log, ran down the beach to the lake and jumped in the water for a long, refreshing swim.<\/p>\n
Refreshed, they were halfway back up the beach to the spot they\u2019d left their clothes, when a group of ladies from town came along.<\/p>\n
Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover in the bushes.<\/p>\n
After the ladies wandered on and the men got dressed again, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates.<\/p>\n
The rabbi replied, \u201cI don\u2019t know about you, but in my congregation, it\u2019s my face they would recognize.\u201d<\/p>\n
A young man introduces his fiancee to his parents.
\nWhile they were having dinner the girl gently farts. Annoyed by the funny smell the father in law yells:<\/p>\n
\u2013 Rocky!!<\/p>\n
The girl is relieved that the future in-law blamed the dog from under her chair but after a few minutes she lets one more rip.<\/p>\n
The boy\u2019s father is getting nervous:<\/p>\n
\u2013 Rocky!! be careful now!!<\/p>\n
Worried no more the girl fires another one.<\/p>\n
Feeling exasperated, the boy\u2019s father yells:<\/p>\n
\u2013 Rocky! Get out of there fast! She\u2019s gonna sh*t on you!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cSister Ann, aren\u2019t you putting on a little weight?\u201d inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging stomach. \u201cWhy, no Father,\u201d answered the nun demurely, \u201cIt\u2019s just a little gas.\u201d A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit barely fit across her … <\/p>\n