A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest.
Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped very firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence.
“Get well quick….. from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week.”
Don’t mess with an old man
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: “Get your treatment for $500 – if not cured, get back $1,000.”
Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.
He went to Dr Geezer’s clinic and this is what happened.
Dr Young: “Dr Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?
Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr Young’s mouth.”
Dr Young: “Aaagh! This is Gasoline!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: “I have lost my memory and I cannot remember anything.”
Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr Young: “Oh no you don’t, that’s Gasoline!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr Young: “My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!”
Dr Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that. Here’s your $1000 back.”
Dr Young: “But this is only $500!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You have got your vision back! That will be $500.”