A pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar. So, one night he took her along with him.
“What’ll you have?” he asked.
“Oh, I don’t know
The same as you I suppose,” she replied.
So, the husband ordered beer and threw his down in one shot.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.
“Yuck, that’s TERRIBLE!” she spluttered, “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!”
“Well, there you go,” cried the husband.
“And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”
Little Kelly failed her math test.
Father: “Why did you fail your mathematics test?”
Daughter: “On Monday, the teacher said 3+5=8.”
Father: “So?”
Daughter: “On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8
And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8…
If she can’t make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?”